Triple standard...

You know what I don't understand? How every action I make has a second or tertiary meaning that I am wholly unaware of. Actually, now that I think about it, it seems as if my actions have primary meanings I'm unaware of, and the significance I do place on these actions is apparently the second or third.

Allow me to paint a picture for you. I'm at the birthday celebration of a friend of the gf; not exactly the closest friend - so there probably won't be a load of people there she knows, let alone me. The gf and I sit down at an already situated booth. After a couple of minutes of mingling with the rest of the tables' residents, an unknown, attractive young woman comes over with a round of shots - shots which had been ordered before we sat down there. As such, there weren't any for us, which is obviously understandable. After the shots were taken the gf starts the round of introductions, after which it is discovered that there is one shot left over. At this point it should be noted that I was seated inside the booth, with the gf at the aisle. Well anyway, the woman hands the left over shot to me, which I gladly accept, me being an alcoholic and all.

At this point the gf starts being stand-offish, offering comments such as "I shouldn't have drinken that", which at the time caused me to look around at all the other recipients, checking to see if they were still conscious... Had the shots been poisoned? Was this mysterious woman recognized from America's Most Wanted? These were the things seriously going through my head. Well the gf wasn't really talking to me so I just started talking to the other table residents, no big whup (the mystery woman included - hereafter known as Aerith).

Several minutes pass and I come to find myself in a heated discussion with Aerith about whether beer or hard liquor gets you drunk faster, and I have always been a staunch proponent of the equality of various alcohols, provided they're consumed in equivalent ratios, so as I'm about to go into my spiel about BMI's and capillaries, she insults my beloved Bud and says I should try whatever monstrosity she was drinking at the time if I want to try a real drink. Always game for a debate, I - again - accept. At this point I hear a gasp and "Gideon!" coming from my gf. I look over, expecting to hear some juicy gossip as I take a sip. As I set the glass down she storms off as I thought to myself, "you call that a drink? I once chugged a cup of Black Label just because I didn't want to carry around the bottle anymore..." Then I thought "hmmm... maybe I shouldn't have taken that."

I could go on, but I'll simply present our eventual debate (I don't have arguments, I have debates). Her points were:

• I never should have accepted the shot, on the grounds that she didn't have one, she was introduced to Aerith before I was, and Aerith had to reach over her to put the shot in front of me, which leads me into point 2
• Aerith was obviously hitting on me, and I just sat there and allowed it; even instigating it at times.
• I accepted a drink from a) someone I didn't really know, b) a woman, c) a woman, in her presence, and d) a woman I didn't know, in her presence.
  

My counter-arguments were as follows:

• I'm conditioned to doing rounds of shots. When with my crew or hers, if a round is bought, by whomever, they are consumed without question.
  
• A shot costs an average of $10. If someone offers me a shot, 9 times out of 10 I'm going to drink it. That offending 10th being if someone already tried the shot and as a result of not liking it, spit it back into the glass.
  
• We were introduced as a couple, why would I assume some chick would attempt to usurp that, in such an obvious manner? I don't know how your estrogen infused brains operate! (It should be noted that these are simply paraphrases of the arguments)
• Would it have been different if it had been a guy that gave me that initial shot - all other events being equal?
• Would I have reason to be upset if this hypothetical guy had given her the shot instead (with or without reaching over me to get it to her)?

I had already awarded her the argument that I should have declined the second drink as circumstantially valid.

I won't get into the result of the debate, but when exactly did I lose the opportunity to accept a drink? When did unfaithfulness become a one-sided affair? Some would say these things occurred the moment we decided to "go steady", so to speak, and I can even understand the rationale behind that line of thought. I like to believe, however, that I have a choice in any potential extraneous relations, should they occur. Declining a drink from a random woman across the bar is one thing, but accepting one from an established acquaintance-in-law is another matter entirely, and should not bring about the belief that numbers will be exchanged once one party excuses themselves to use the bathroom. That's where trust issues come into play, but I won't cross that bridge at this point either.

I guess what it all comes down to is I'm sick of being told what I was doing or what I should have seen or the like. In retrospect, I assume that Aerith was, in fact, hitting on me (and really, can you blame her?) but I was not responding in kind, regardless of my actions dangnabbit. Can't a brotha be friendly without repurcussions anymore?